This Summer while attending a fancy networking event, I heard a featured speaker say, “Authenticity is hot right now.”
Hot? Right now? Being authentic is a trend? I had to giggle to myself. Well, if that is the case, I got that marketing pearl covered.
Authenticity is one of the gifts that comes from having been through chronic illness — no time or energy for BS or posturing. For better or worse, I tell it like it is. So in that spirit... here's a story:
When we announced this year's Fall Sessions on Nov. 7th, I was so excited. I sat here thinking of ways to invite all of you into our cozy nest for the next 5 weeks. It’s such a beautiful program.
BUT LIFE took a little detour.
The next day I noticed my tooth was broken — a molar. Lower left. Hmmm. That’s odd, I thought. A closer look I could see the filling had broken off and there was significant black underneath, and I could taste it. Gross!
I’ve lost 3 teeth on this Lyme journey (or whatever you want to call it) back to self and wellness. And I've got to say, I have been very motivated to have a different outcome this time.
I managed to get into the dentist the next day. He didn’t have time to work on me so he temporarily patched the hole right on top of the decay. Lovely.
That was Thursday.
By Saturday I was having night-sweats, tachycardia, fevers and urinating copious amounts every half hour—and hideous head, neck and jaw pain. I went back in on Monday. My resting heart-rate was 115 and BP was low-normal and I had a fever. He said I wasn’t suitable to work on. X-ray was normal.
There I was down the old familiar rabbit hole of "We don’t understand this." (And borrowing money to cover the insane costs of doing nothing.)
Since that time I have seen 4 more dentists, a Lyme literate MD, and a neurological chiropractor. Three of the dentists said that my fever was a coincidence and unrelated to the tooth. Marc Weill and Dr. Beth McDougall, knowing my history — disagreed.
With all this going on, I thought about canceling this Fall Sessions because I am so far behind on promotions, but when I looked at the tooth meridian chart and saw that this tooth, “number 19,” corresponds to the lung and large intestine meridian (the organs associated with the Fall and our session), I took it as a sign.
A sign to dig my heels in deep and walk the talk. I teach self-care; now I need to use what I know. It’s up to me. Since that first day I have been vigilant with self-care and determined to get through this.
I started daily/hourly nourishing broths, detox baths, oil pulling with ozone gel, hydration/electrolytes, lymphatic drainage tinctures, deep breathing, immune boosting supplements, cell salts, Vitamin D and K2, chlorophyll, therapeutic mushrooms, colloidal silver and most importantly, fierce awareness of the present moment — noticing when I go into stories of the past and future. Instead, I tell my body over and over...
"I believe in you. You can do this. I love you”.
Yesterday I went to have the tooth filled. I was so sick. Freezing and sweating. My skin color was gray and I was urinating every 20 minutes. Heart like a bunny.
The dentist said, “We can skip it if you don’t feel up to it. The filling is small enough and I don’t think it’s associated with your other symptoms.”
I said, "I didn’t feel like this a week ago... I think it’s associated. Let’s try.”
So we went for it.
Oh and PS, I don’t use any Novocaine. And he only gave me oxygen to breathe, no Nitrous.
As he started drilling deeper, he said, “Gotta admit Dana, this is a lot deeper than I thought”
“I told you!" I mumbled under the dental dam.
He said, “I’m sorry we have to push through it."
I surrendered. I met the sound of the drill with my own hum. And when it got faster, I hummed louder.
In these situations I turn into a Zen master. I go eternal. No resistance. The pain was ridiculous, but my awareness of the space around it made it small. I was the space. The doc said, "I would be crying if I were you. You are amazingly strong.”
Yeah, duh!!! Yet another skill/gift gleaned from this journey. I have a warrior badge after 17 years dealing with Lyme and all of this stuff, but without a doubt, this one should have earned me my black-belt.
When he was finished he sat me up to go PEE!!! But I couldn’t stand. The nurse assistant gently walked me to the bathroom and said in her beautiful Latin accent, “You were so good. I couldn't believe it. And honey, you look so much better, I see your eyes are clear now. And feel... your hands are warm. You were so cold and sick before.”
Something had left me. It was like coming back into myself. One dentist/surgeon thought I was reacting to the temporary dental resin material — yeah, that’s really a thing and a big deal.
Either way, the moral of the story is to keep going and trust yourself. One size doesn't fit all. Don’t let them tell you about your body!! We are the canaries, the sensitives, and we help to teach that Medical care can't be a fixed model because our bodies and world are dynamic.
I said to the doctor when I collected myself, “So you thought I was just a high strung/high maintenance woman didn’t you?”
He said, “How’d you know?”
I smiled… "And now?”
He bowed his head and said, “I am humbled, I don’t live in your body."
I am not out of the woods yet, and it’s still unknown if the tooth will make it. There is a chance that I will have to have this tooth extracted during the session. But here’s the thing: the self-care (keeping the body strong) is the same.
Thank you for reading this. I teach by telling stories and using my life as an example. I hope you found something of value for yourself.
The past few years have been very stressful for me in my personal life. And stress of course, will demineralize you faster than anything like your um... teeth.
Like you, sometimes I need a kick in the butt to make myself priority and get a head of steam on my health. And when I fully commit, I’m always so grateful and amazed at how much we can do with our self-care tools.
As I sit here with Essential Oil soaked gauze in my mouth, I am thinking of you and inviting you to have a virtual self-care slumber party with me. Let’s eat good food, rest, breathe, laugh and learn.
Let’s give what we've got and love every second of it.
The Fall Sessions is a gorgeous and essential program. Very proud of it. But it’s nothing without you.
We’d love to have you.
Dana (and Brent)